THE LIFE: CHAPTER FIVE

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

                    I woke up just in time to hear the phone ringing. A refreshing sleep is always good after you break almost every bone in your body. As soon I reached over to grab my cell, it stopped ringing. I saw the missed call was from Grace. Great! I was reluctant to call her back, but I knew she would just keep calling until I graced her with my voice. After our lengthy conversation about nothing, I made my way downstairs to check on my house guest, but she was gone. Oh no! Now is not the time to go into panic mode. Who was I kidding? Now is the perfect time for panic! I knew this was too much for her to handle. I paced back and forth in my living room, my mind racing a thousand miles a minute. What am I going to do? She knows my secret. What if she tells someone? What if she tries to kill me? What if.....My thought was broken, when I heard my front door open. Someone was entering my apartment unauthorized. Could this be my downfall? I automatically went into defense mode, exposing my fangs, jumping and clinging to my vaulted ceiling. Imagine my relief, when I saw Delores entering the kitchen with an arm full of take out food bags. Food. Just what I need right now. She caught a glimpse of me, as I jumped down from the ceiling. My heart was racing, and I knew I had scared her.

"Delores, what the hell?"  I was more relieved than upset.

"I'm sorry., but were you just on the freaking ceiling?  And you ask ME what the hell?"

"I'm sorry." I realized my insensitivity toward the new life she has just entered into. "You have every right to be scared or upset or whatever."

"You did scare the crap outta me! And, thank you for recognizing the fact that I have a right to the way I feel or don't feel or whatever.  To answer your question, I left to go home. I needed to shower and change, and I bought food. I thought you might be hungry."  My silence allowed her to think.  "I'm sorry. I forgot you don't eat food."

"No, no. I eat food. Just not as much as humans. Food and alcohol helps to keep my hunger for blood at bay."

"So, why do you need blood, if you can eat food?"  She asked. She carefully watched me, as, I went to my China cabinet and retrieved two plates from my Flora Danica collection . I opened a drawer and pulled out gold utensils and placed them on the counter. She looked toward me with a shocking look on her face.

"Because, Delores, please refer to our earlier conversation."  I walked into the sitting area to retrieve a couple of Gorham LadyAnne  glasses from the 16th century globe wooden bar with a wine and glass holder.

"Oh, right. For survival."  I saw the way she was watching my every move. 

"Something on your mid, Delores?"  I asked, as I walked back over to the bar. I'm getting a little forgetful these days. This is highly unusual for my kind.

"Astrid, what is that?" She was pointing at the counter.

"It's called dinnerware. Do you not own any?"

"This is not just any dinnerware. Do you know how much this kinda stuff goes for on Ebay?"

"No idea, what Ebay is."  I grabbed our drink and came back to the counter and stood in front of Delores.

"You don't know what Ebay is? Astrid, have you been living under a rock?"

"Yeah. For a long time. Funny you should ask." I poured a healthy glass of Remy Martin Cognac Black Pearl Louis XIII.  I handed the glass to her, I took a sip and savored the taste before I spoke again. She looked at me with wide eyes.

"Wow! How do you afford that kind of luxury on your salary? I mean, I know you get payed more than I do, but how?"

"Again, Delores, our conversation from earlier. I've been walking this earth for two hundred years. I should have something to show for it. Don't you think?"

"That makes more sense than the explanation in my head."  She continued to the table with the bags of food.  "I'm sorry, Astrid. I'm new to all of this. I don't know anyone who wouldn't be besides you."  I ignored her and looked inside the bags she decided to place on the island. Thai food, my favorite.  "I didn't know what to get, so I just got my favorite."  She added.

"That's fine."  I said, as I took a healthy bite of the Thai red curry chicken. It was good and spicy. Just what I needed.  "Thank you for the food, Delores."  I managed to say through bites.

"No problem. Just save some for me."   

I gave her a thumbs up. "Oh, before I forget. Grace called....

"Oh no! Not tonight!"  Delores had beautiful hazel eyes that seemed to glean, when she was annoyed.

 "No, it's nothing like that. No double shift. As a matter of fact, no shift at all for us tonight. Grace told me she was working with some interns, and we could take the night off, since we worked a double shift last night."  I took another sip from my glass.

"Thank God! That woman knows how to get me riled up."  She began eating some of the curry chicken before she realized what we were actually drinking.  "Astrid, that looks like an expensive bottle of cognac. How much did you pay for that?"

I took another sip.  "As the old saying goes,  'if you have to ask, you can't afford it'." I smiled and held up my glass as if to say 'cheers'. 

"I know I can't afford it.  So, how much did it cost?"  As curious as ever.

"Nothing."

"B.S. . That bottle is at least $40, 000."

"This bottle was given to me by Paul-Emil Remy Martin in 1874."  I took another sip.

"Wait! Are you telling me that THE Remy Martin gave that to you?"

"What did you hear, Delores?"

"Oh my God! This is amazing! Wow! How did you meet him? I mean, what happened... I mean....I don't know what I mean.  Just tell me the story. Please!"  She was starry eyed like a school girl with her first crush.

"Calm down, Delores. We were just friends. He was my best friend, actually."  I picked up my glass without any real attempt of drinking from it. I haven't mentioned his name in so many years.  Thoughts of him flooded my mind, and I had to choke back tears. Now was not the time to ride down memory lane. Especially on these tires. I had to steer this conversation in another direction.  "You know what, we should make a toast."  I told her, as I poured a glass for her.

"Toast to what?"  She took the glass, sniffed the amber liquid inside, closed her eyes and smiled.

"We should toast to reality. May it screw you over every time you think you have a handle on it."

"Cheers." We both raised our glasses.  We smiled and indulged ourselves in nothing but Thai.

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                    After we ate, we made our way into the living room. I grabbed the remote and clicked on my 90 inch television. Delores and I both sat at the same time. We were full and she was a little tipsy.  I looked at my sofa and thought about cleaning it. Forget it. I'll just buy another one. My heart started to flutter uneasily. I reluctantly reached for the remote and turned off the television.

"What is it, Delores?"  I asked without looking at her. I began wrapping my hair into a ponytail, letting her know I was relaxed, so she should be, also.

She looked shocked.  "How did you know I wanted to ask you something?"

"The thing, with the heartbeat."

"Mine?"

"Ours."

"Beat together?"

"Yep."

"So, you knew?"

"Kind of...yeah."  I stated sarcastically, as I sat back in my chair.

"That's amazing!" she exclaimed.

"Great."

"So, you know what I'm about to ask you?"

"It doesn't work like that, Delores."

"How does it work?"

I sighed.  "By me asking you what's on your mind and you telling me."

"So, no telepathy then?"

"Nope. But, if you'd like, I can give you a free psychic reading of what's in your near future, if you don't answer my question."  I stated in an aggravated, yet polite tone.  "Before you start this next series of interrogations, please, oh please try to absorb as much information as you possible can. Repetition is not my strong suit."

"Yeah, I know. You taught me that my first day as your assistant."  She stated matter-of-factly.

It's true. Delores learned more about autopsies  during her first two weeks working with me than most people learn in two months. I explained my methods to her on her first day at work, as soon as she clocked in, before she had a chance to speak and introduce herself.  Those rules included: Once you clock in it's time to work; take advantage of your breaks..you WILL learn to appreciate them; If you need something, and you do not see it, ask. I am not above helping you, but if you ask a stupid question, you WILL get a stupid answer; I can do this job myself, so I DO NOT need you here; Listen to everything I say and take as many notes as you can because under no circumstances do I repeat myself; Be on time. I do not like starting my shift late because you missed the bus, got a flat tire or missed your flight. Leave your place of residence in enough time to account for any surprises or obstacles you may face on your way to work; Be professional as you can toward everyone here, Grace being the exception; Do your job, so I can do mine.

"I'm all ears, Delores."

She adjusted herself in her chair to get comfortable.  "Well, where are you from?"

"I'm from here. Next question."

"You've lived here for two hundred years?"

"That would cause just a teensy bit amount of  curiosity. Don't you think?"

"Well, how so?"

"Probably because I stopped aging at twenty-five. So, some people may think of that as being a little weird. You know, me not aging." 

"Oh, right. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. Next question."

"So, where have you lived?"

This could take a while. So, instead of speaking on all of the placed I've traveled, I decided to just go with the ones that meant the most to me.  "I lived in Milan....

"Italy?"

"Do you know of another?"

"No. Sorry for the interruption."

"Stop apologizing."

"Right. Sor....

I shot a glance at her. She realized her error.

"I lived in Milan for ten years. After that I traveled to La Rochelle, France. Since French is part of my heritage, I spent my time there embracing every piece of the culture I could fit inside my brain."

"Must have been amazing."  Delores was sitting on the edge of her chair, listening intently, hanging on my every word.

"Yes, it was."

"How long did you stay in France?"

"Fifteen years. I would have stayed longer, but some of the locals were starting to notice my unchanging appearance. After that I spent eight years in Skive, Denmark."

"Milan seems to be out of your comfort zone with so many people there. What made you stay for ten years?"  She knew me well.

"Milan actually taught me all about my comfort level. I was from a small town, and I didn't know anything other than that. Before I moved there, I was just drifting from one small town to the next. For a while, I didn't really know where I was going."

"So, what about family? Did you ever travel with anyone or were you always alone?" I sighed at the thought of answering this line of questioning. To be honest, I've only spoken about my life to one person, after it changed so dramatically. "If these questions are hard for you, you don't have to answer them." Delores was looking at me with concern in her big hazel eyes. Her sentiment was an attempt to get me to relax. She had that way about her.

"No, no family. I was an only child."

"Do you remember your mother and father?"

"Vaguely. It's been almost 200 years. When you are a vampire, the power of it consumes you. I was constantly in battle with what was left of my soul everyday to hold on to my humanity. In order for me to do that, I had to allow some things to slip through the cracks. I couldn't hold on to everything. Only the things that were important to me."

"So, your family were not important enough?"

"No." I allowed my answer to sink in.

"So, can you fly?"

I was taken aback by the shift in the questions.  "Can I fly? Where did that come from?"

"When I came in, you were on the ceiling. Remember?"   I forgot about that.  "So, can you?"

"No. vampires cannot fly, and we don't morph into bats either. But I can jump pretty high."

"Oh! Like Spider man?" She was too excited about this.

"Sure. Let's go with that. Why not?"

"Do you.....

"I have a question for you, Delores."  I interrupted.

"Sure. You can ask me anything."  She was caught off guard.

"Why are you not afraid of me. I mean, you know what I am. Does that not scare the living crap out of you?"

"Actually, I got over my fear of you two years ago. You were a hard pill to swallow, when we first met. But, after a while, I began to understand your personality, and you became my friend. It would be kind of icky of me to revert back into a cocoon now. Don't you think? I mean, it's not like you're one of those horrible vampire I've seen on television."

"How do you know that?"  I could tell this question shocked her. Her body became tense. Her heartbeat faster.

"What do you mean?"  She tried to be calm about it, but I knew she was getting a little out of her comfort zone.

"A few hours ago, you didn't know I was a vampire. What makes you so sure you know what kind of vampire I am?"

"Well, for starters, you've been a vampire all this time, and you've never tried to bite me or whatever it is vampires actually do."  She sound nervous.  "So either I repulse you or I'm right about you. Oh my God! Please don't tell me that even a vampire is repulsed by me. Please let me be right on this one."

I gave a slight chuckle.  "Nothing to fear, Delores. You are right. And, no, you do not repulse me. Actually I cannot understand why you think you repulse anyone."

"Really?  Please refer to our conversation from earlier." We both laughed. "Actually I think I'm more jealous of you now."

"Jealous of me? Why on earth would you have that kind of emotion?"

"Because you are what you are. You will always be beautiful, and you get to live forever. I would give anything to have a life like that. I wish we could trade places."  She sulked.

"Be careful what you wish for, Delores. This life is a curse not a gift. I've watched everyone I ever loved and cared about die. Death is part of the circle of life. Without experiencing it, are we actually living or just being alive?"

THE LIFE: CHAPTER FOUR

1770 :  EMMA & JONATHAN PERSLEY

                    My life was filled with shame. I never spoke a word to anyone about Master Thorne being my father. I barely spoke a word to anyone about anything. It was too much too bare; too much to take in. How could my mother lie to me? WHY did she lie to me? I wanted to scream and yell at someone, anyone, but no one was there. I was alone; no family, no friends, no hope. I continued to go about my daily chores and kept my head down. One day, as I was busy in the kitchen preparing the evening meal,  Elder Victoria walked in. She was always around eaves dropping and doing God knows what else. I didn't trust her for nothing. I never said anything to her. I just kept to myself, so imagine my surprise, when she spoke to me on this day.

"I can help, you know." She was staring at me as if she could see through my very soul. Her presence made me uneasy and more fearful. The longer I stared at her,  I could see the evil she was made of.

"How do you mean?" I managed to allow a frighten whisper to escape.  "I ain't in needa no help." I went about stirring the pot of red cabbage, pretending not to pay any attention to her standing behind me.

She laughed.  "Child, I knows alls 'bout you being Massa bastard. I knowed it fo' you was even born."

I turned to look at her with hate and contempt.  "Them be lies you telling." My fear was melting as my blood began to boil.

"Child, it ain't no secret to me. Yo mamma was pure bred Indian. Beautiful, long, straight hair, skin like butta, smooth just as well. Yo mamma was a beautiful sight to look on, and old Massa was always looking."  She began to walk towards me, making sure to keep eye contact.   "Old Benjamin knowed it too. I know yo mamma told you that Ben was yo daddy, but dat was a lie."

"Don't you be speaking ill of my mamma."  I was angry, and this made Victoria laugh, showing all of the rotting, yellow, brown, and black teeth in her head. She looked like death warmed over. I watched her, as she watched me, waiting for my reaction.  Her large body frame stood in front of me, casting a shadow of the demon that lived inside of her soul.

"Don't fret, little girl. Yo mamma and Ben was always good to me. We was all friendly that way; this is how I knowed the secret she was keeping from you."  She walked closer to me.  "I remember the day you was born. Yo mamma was so happy. But, soon as you came out yo mamma's belly, Ben knowed he wun't yo daddy."

"You telling lies. Mamma told me my daddy was killed by Master Thorne not long after I was born."  I was seething. I was angry. I was ready to knock out all of her colorful teeth.

"Oh child, just another lie to cover up other lies. Ben wun't kilt by Massa. He was kilt by kin."

"Kin?"

She began walking toward me, narrowing her eyes, tilting her head, getting a closer look at me.  "Yo mamma kilt Ben, suga." She was standing closely in front of me now, watching my reaction, casting an evil shadow around my thoughts.

I moved away from her as quickly as I could.  "No! You telling lies! My mamma would never do nothing you speak of! My mamma loved my daddy!" I was shouting, and I could no longer control the tears flowing down my cheeks.

"You right, child. She did love yo daddy cause yo daddy is Massa Thorne. Yo mamma loved Massa James. She married yo daddy cause she didn't want to turn out being no old maid. And, ole Massa loved yo mamma too. But, yo mamma knowed Massa would neva take on a slave to be his wife. This why she took Ben on to wed."

"But, why would she kill him?  What he done so awful to deserve what you say my mamma done to him?"

"Child, yo mamma kilt Ben cause he was gone kill Massa. Old Ben was fired up cause he knowed Massa was having his way wit yo mamma. What old Ben not knowed is that yo mamma neva mind, when Massa fetched fo' her. No, yo mamma wouldn't let Ben kill the man she truly loved. She couldn't let him kill yo daddy and mess up any chance you had at a mo' betta life."

"Better life? What better life?" I snapped.  "How is my life better? I'm still the property of this here plantation. I still be a slave. Miss Katherine neva let me forget that!"

"But you ain't working out in that hot field like the rest of them others. You ain't being tooken advantage of by them other devilish white men that come round here looking for one of us to abuse."

"You ain't either." I snapped back.

Victoria stepped back a little."Oh, suga, you don't know how things work around here."

"I'm sixteen. Ain't much to know." I walked to the stove to poke the wood and maintain control of the fire. Old Victoria was right behind me.

"Oh, but it is much to know. See, house niggas be chose for a reason. We got something that Massa or Massa wife need."

"I don't have nothing nobody want or need. How does that make me special than any of the rest? I don't possess anything they would want."

Victoria gave a hearty laugh again.  "Oh, I see them reading lessons be working fo' you."  She had an eerie presence about her. Everything about her was wrong.   "You...how you said....possess everythang cause you Massa bastard child. Massa loved yo mamma, and he knowed when she got the sickness, she be not long for this world. He did all he could to hope her well. He had the best physicians he knowed to come see bout her, but nothing came of it. When Massa knowed she be dead soon, he moved you and yo mamma in this here house. He needed to be close to you and to yo mamma. Dis why you here."

"But, Mamma is dead. Why he wanna keep me around?" I was more curious now than angry.

" Cause you be his blood. His kin. Massa got a huge heart fo' all of us on this here plantation, but you he love. Miss Katherine know all this. She knowed you be special to him. She neva wanted you in this house. But, as luck would have it, here you is."

"And, what about you?"

"What about me?" Victoria asked, knowing full well what I meant.

"Why you here?"

"Cause I got something Miss Katherine need."

"And what that be?"

"Magic."

"Magic? You seem to be making a fool outta me, Victoria."

"No, suga. I don't lie about magic. I don't lie about nothing."

"Ain't no such thing as magic."  I contended. I walked over to the stove once more to check the red cabbage and to prepare the cornbread.

"Oh, but it is real. It be called black magic, suga. This been passed down in my family from generation to generation. Miss Katherine knowed this, that be why she fetched fo' me."

I turned to face her again.  "If you be telling the truth, why Miss Katherine need some....what you call....black magic? She got all she could ever want. What mo' she asking fo'?"

"A sucka."

"Magic don't make babies. Men and women do. I ain't that young. I know where babies come from."

"You right. But, you see, Massa ain't got no mo baby making days. He got hurt, when he fall off his horse, and the doc told him he won't neva have no chullins. This was the Spring you was born.When Miss Katherine told Massa she be with child, he knowed he be not the pappy. But, he knowed she ain't be with no body else. Massa put all the pieces together, and he knowed that Miss Katherine done something against all his beliefs. He just not knowed it be me who done it fo' her. If he knowed that, he would have string me up in that old oak tree you like to sit under, and he will stand there and watch me take my last breath."

"What make you think Miss Katherine won't say nothing."

"She can't, suga."

"Why not?"

"Cause all magic comes with a price."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just hope you neva find out." Victoria left me standing in the kitchen. She danced her way into the parlor, as she hummed a tune I was not familiar with. I followed her, when she went out of the front doors and into the garden. I was on her heels like a baby still being weened from its mamma tit.

"Tell me what you mean, when you say you can help me."  Victoria was dancing around the flower, watering them, humming, as if she did not hear me.  "Victoria, please. How can you help me?"  She stopped what she was doing and stared at me for a while. She then went back to watering the flowers.  "Victoria, please!"  I begged.

"Oh, suga, you know how I can help you. You just have to ask for  my help."  The look on her face was more serious now, and I could almost see the demon having its way with her. But, I was desperate. I needed help from someone, and Victoria was the only one offering.

I swallowed my fear and my pride,  "Please help me, Victoria. Please."

"Tell me what you need."  She was walking closer to me, sizing me up, trying to see if my need was as real as I thought it was.

"I need to get outta here. I can't be here no more."

She laughed.  "Child, where you think I can send you? To the moon? I ain't got them kinda powers."  She continued to laugh.

"What can you do for me?"

"Let's see."  She began watering the flowers again, taking her time, as she seem to see fit.  "I may not be able to send you to the moon, but I can help you escape the life you have now."

"But, I can't pay you. I ain't got no money."

"Oh, suga, Victoria don't do her work fo' no money."

"Then what you want?"

She walked closer to me, casting the evil shadow over me again and whispered,  "Just yo word that after you gone, you stay gone."  Her words were firm, and the look in her eyes told me she was serious.

"How do that help you?" I asked, sounding as confused as I looked, no doubt.

"Neva mind how that help me. This is the deal. Take it or leave it."

I would never come back here anyway. For what? This place ain't nothing special. It's down right cursed.  "Fine."  I relented.  "I'll take it."

"Child, you sho' gone break Massa heart."  She said with a sad look on her face, while shaking her head.

"Then he should know how it feels."  I was without emotion. Without any real feelings in my heart for the man who called himself my daddy.  "When can you help me?"

"Oh, not for some time, child."  Victoria waved me off and walked passed me back toward the house as if she was saying 'shoo fly, don't bother me'.

"What you mean? How long I gotta wait?" I was following her and becoming impatient. 

"Calm down, suga. You just sixteen years old. You ain't even had yo first sucka yet."  She opened the door and walked into the parlor to place fresh flowers in the vases on top the fireplace mantle and the sofa tables. I continued to follow her.

"My first sucka? I ain't got no husband. How you suppose me to have a baby?"

"In time, suga."  She finished placing flowers and walked toward the kitchen to help me with supper.

"Victoria, I don't know what you want me to do."

"You let old Victoria worry bout that now. I know a man who been sweet on you fo' some time now."

"Someone sweet on me? Victoria, I got no inkling of what you speak of."  I walked over to the shelf to retrieve the dinner plates and headed toward the dining room to set the table.

"Mr. Jonathan Persley been trying to call on you, but old Massa won't hear tell of it."

"Jonathan Persley? Short, stubby knuckles Jonathan Persley?"

"One and the same."

Oh, hell no! I am not marrying that man!"

Victoria let out another one of her hearty laughs. This time she held on to her fat belly as it shook uncontrollably.  "Child, don't seem like you got much of a choice. If you want the deal, this is it. Take it or leave it."  She continued to help me set the table, still laughing. 

"I don't see how this gone happen, if Master Thorne refuse to let Mr. Persley call on me."  I was hoping to gain access to the outside world a different way. Maybe sneaking out in the carriage on one of the rides to town.

"You just let old Victoria worry about that, you hear.."

"Magic?"

"Oh no, suga. Victoria got mo tricks up her sleeves. Sides, magic don't work on the ones that don't believe in it. I gotta use my wits with Massa."

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                    As spring turned into summer, I became impatient and on edge. Victoria kept her word and worked her charm on Master Throne. It took some doing, but by the end of June, he finally agreed to me marrying Mr. Persley. It was not something I wanted to do, but what I wanted and needed were two different things. If that don't beat all, I get pregnant the first time I have relations with my new husband. Victoria told me I must be some kind of special for me to be with child on the first go round.  I knew miss Katherine was happy. She felt she was finally getting rid of me.  She didn't know Master Thorne only agreed to the marriage as long as I would stay in the big house. That meant me and my husband and soon to be baby would be in Miss Katherine's presence at all times. Master Thorne was nice enough to fetch Jonathan from the field and make him his new carriage driver, and he taught Jonathan everything about steering a horse and carriage. I was almost delighted to see the rage on her face. But, since she didn't mean anything to me, I didn't delight in anything about her.

                    When spring arrived, I was just about ready to give birth. I was afraid, but I knew I was in good hands. Despite what I thought about Jonathan Persley, he was a good husband and good provider, thanks to Master Thorne. My husband was good to me. I knew he truly loved me, and my  heart ached, as I thought about the day we would be leaving all of this behind. We don't know nothing about the outside world, and I haven't told Jonathan about us leaving yet.  His family is here, and I know it will break his heart, but we don't have any other choice. We just can't stay here. I already made the deal with Victoria, and I can't back out now. Besides, with Miss Katherine around, this would be no place to raise a baby. Master would try to protect us, but I knew in the end she would win. I was not willing to play her game no longer. Jonathan would be fine. He's a man and knows how to survive.

                    I was sitting in a rocking chair, looking out of the window from our third floor bedroom, watching the birds, thinking how envious I was of them. I wanted to fly and be free like they were. I wanted to go wherever the wind would take me. I was in deep thought, when I felt a sharp pain and a gush of water hit the floor under me. What the.......  Victoria had placed a small bell on my side table for when I need anything, since I was too heavy to be walking stairs. If there was ever a time I needed something, it was now.  I panicked, when I didn't see it. My voice was caught in my throat, and I couldn't scream. I stopped and closed my eyes to gain my composure through the pain. When I open my eyes again, I turned to the window seal to see the bell sitting in front of me. I grabbed it, and shook it violently until I saw Victoria running in to check on me.

"Child, you know that bell is fo'........

"Victoria!" I screamed in agony.

She looked to see the water running down my legs to the puddle on the floor.

"We gotta get you to the bed, and get the towels and hot water and such,"

I barely heard a word she was saying. She was out the door as quick as she came in. Another sharp pain in my back caused me to scream violently. I thought I would die before Victoria came back in the room. I could hear someone coming up the stairs in a rush. It was Jonathan.  "Oh, thank God." Is all I could manage to say through the pain. I felt light headed and faint. Just when I thought I was not going to survive the pain, Victoria rushed into the bedroom, her arms full of towels and sheets and such with Jonathan nervously trying to help. I closed my eyes and silently prayed for this to be over quickly.

"Now, Emma, you have to open them eyes of yours now."   Emma? That was the first time I ever heard Victoria speak my name.   "Open up them eyes girl." I obeyed, but when my eyes opened, so did my mouth. I released a scream that could have waken the dead.  "I know, child, I know. Just hold on. Old Victoria gone get you fixed up here in a minute."  Her voice was reassuring. She turned to Jonathan.  "Pappa, I's gone need you to go to the kitchen and fetch the water heating on them bricks. Go now, as quick as you can. Go on now!"  Jonathan did not want to leave me, but I nodded my head to assure him I was ok; although, I didn't believe it myself. While he was fetching the water, Victoria leaned over to me and whispered in my ear.  "You been taking that medicine like I told you, child?"

"Y..y..yes, M..m..ma'am."  I managed to say through the pain.

"Good girl. Now befo' this baby getchere, I need you  to take the last of it. When you done with it, I's gone give you one more thing to take."  Victoria reached into her apron and pulled out a little glass jar filled with a dark thick liquid. She opened my Chifforobe and reached into the drawer. She pushed aside the clothes that once belonged to my mother and she fetched the medicine I had been taking for the last six months.

"H..how did you know where I kept that?" She was wiping sweat from my face and only smiled.

"Old Victoria know what she need to know. You just try to stay quiet and allow yo body to relax much as possible."  She gave me the last of the medicine and whatever was in the glass jar from her apron. The taste was horrible, but not as bad as the pain that came soon after.  "Pappa, hurry up with that water now! Baby gone be here befo' you!" I could hear him rushing up the stairs, with Miss Katherine following close behind him. Jonathan placed the water on the floor where Victoria pointed. Miss Katherine stood in the door way motionless with a stone face, like a statue. Victoria leaned over to block my view of her.  "You just don't pay that woman no neva mind. You just pay 'tention to having this youngen. You hear me?"  I nodded yes. Jonathan was standing in the corner, ringing his hat in his hands, praying for my life and the life of our unborn baby. "Now listen to me, child. This baby is gone be something special. I heard yo papa telling Miss Katherine that yo birthday be tomorrow. This baby be the best present fo' you."

"Victoria, how long is this going to take?"  I heard Miss Katherine spit out in a vicious tone.

"It takes long's it takes."  Victoria snapped back. I was surprised at the way Victoria spoke to a white woman. Miss Katherine quickly turned on her heels and walked away.

"Victoria, y..you gone go g..get yoself in a heap of trouble t..t..talking to M..Miss Katherine like that."

"Miss Katherine don't scare me, child. She in my debt. It be best fo' her to member that. Now, I's gone need you to hold yo breath and push down from yo bottom part as hard as you can."  I pushed and pushed for God knows how long. After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally holding my baby girl in my arms. She was crying and so was I.  "Come on over here, Pappa." Victoria was reaching for Jonathan's hand.  "You have yo self a baby girl.  Jonathan came to my side and started to cry, when he saw that the baby and me was fine. I could see the happiness in his eyes. Our family was complete. He was overjoyed and so was I. But, the happiness didn't last long. As me and my husband was enjoying the first few moments of our baby's life, I began to feel very ill. Victoria noticed my skin becoming pale, and she turned to Jonathan.  "Pappa, I need you to take the baby in the next room."

"Why? What's wrong?"  he asked, looking dazed and confused.

"Just do as I say, now."  Jonathan was reluctant to leave, but he knew Victoria was not joking. He kissed my forehead and told me he loved me and he left with the baby.

"What's wrong with me, Victoria?"  I was beginning to get scared, and I was getting sicker by the minute.

"No worries, child. It's just the transition."  She stated calmly, as she wiped the newly formed sweat beads from my forehead.

"Transition? What are you talking about? What's happening to me, Victoria?" I could feel the muscles in my body take on spasm after spasm. I couldn't stop it or control it. I was terrified and in so much pain. It felt as though my heart was being pulled outta my chest.

"Just let it happen, Emma. It'll all be over in a lil while."

There it is. She said my name again. I managed to speak through each spasm,  "Victoria...that's the...second time....you....spoke my name. Neva I heard you speak my name.....befo' today."

"In order for the magic to work, I have to say your name three times, so the magic know who it's fo'."  I didn't understand. The only thing I knew is that a few hours ago I thought I was dying. Now I know I am. As I took my last breaths, Victoria whispered in my ear,  "See you tomorrow night, Emma."

THE LIFE: CHAPTER THREE

                                                                    WHAT?



                    Grace wasn't joking about the double shift. My work day started at 3 p.m. and was suppose to end at 11 p.m.  Delores and I worked from 8 p.m. to 12 p.m. the next day. The morning crew came in at 4 a.m., which gave us two extra pair of hands. If you ask me, they should have been called in last night, as well. But, no one asked me, so I digress. The sun was at full blast, when Delores and I walked out of the morgue into the parking lot. I was dead on my feet, and she was all but passed out. The accident last night was terrible. ten people dead, two in critical condition. people should appreciate life more because it can be gone in an instant.

"Well, Delores, I guess I'll see you tonight. Go home and get some rest." I stated, as I sat on my motorcycle, put on my helmet and started the engine.

"You too." And with that, Delores gave me a wave, started her car and left.

                    I was half way home, when the accident occurred. A car barreled through the intersection, ran a red light and plowed into me. As, my bike drifted from under me, my body was thrown at least fifty feet, and I passed out from the pain of the impact. The driver of the car did not stop, but another car did. It was Delores. She was driving behind me, which was odd, since she left the parking lot before I did. She should have been home by now. Her apartment block was two blocks before mine. Instead, she had a front row seat of an accident scene I'm sure was linked to a block buster hit. She rushed out of her car and over to me.

"Astrid! Astrid! can you hear me?!?" She shouted over and over. The truth was I could hear her. I just couldn't open my eyes. I feel her as she checks for a pulse. I could feel her surprise, when she found one. She began screaming for help, but no one would come. The street had been essentially closed off for the Mardi Gras parades. There were only a few blocks one could travel before your luck ran out. So, instead of making detour after detour, people just decided in their own mind that it was closed off completely. This worked for me. Without traffic, I could get home in no time from work. My choice had been ideal until today. Despite the deserted street, Delores insisted on screaming for help. She soon realized her screams were not being heard. Or, maybe heard and just not cared about. Gotta love this city. I could feel her shuffling for something, and realized it was her cell phone. I could hear her dialing 9-.......

"Don't." I managed to whisper, as I lightly touched her arm. Delores looked at me, as I opened the only usable eye I had.

"Oh my God!! Astrid! Sweetie, I have to call for help. You were just hit by a car moving very, very fast. I have to call for help or you will die. Do you understand that?" I could hear her dial - 1.....

"Delores, don't." I gurgled as I began to choke on the blood  filling up in my lungs.  "Do not ....call for help." I whispered.

Delores looked at me with wild eyes, as she noticed the gash on my forehead beginning to close. I knew she wanted to scream, but at the moment she could not remember how. I laid there staring into her eyes, my body in pain, as my bones shifted back into place. The pain was almost unbearable.  I wanted to scream, but I had to suppress my agony for her sake. I didn't want to frighten her more than she was beginning to be. Her gaze was fixated on me, and I could not break eye contact with her. I knew I had to keep looking into her eyes to assure her what she was seeing was real.

"Astrid", her voice trembling as she whispered,  "what the hell is.......

I grabbed her hand as tight as I could without breaking it.  "Delores, get me out of here."

"But........


"Delores, now!" I said through clenched teeth and pain so severe no person should ever experience. Responding to me as quickly as she could, Delores picked me up off of the ground and with wobbling legs, she managed me with her small frame.  Once we were both in the car, she tried to put it in gear but was having some trouble figuring out how.  "Drive, Delores!"

"Where?" she asked nervously, not understanding why or how she had just been thrown into the twilight zone.

"My apartment." I grunted through the pain. I lay my head against the cold window. Without another word, Delores put the car in gear and drove the next four blocks in silence, intently staring ahead. Once we were at my apartment building, she parked and turned off the engine.

"Now what?" she asked with good reason. She stole glances of me, as I adjusted my body into a better position to open the car door.

"Now", I winced, "help me upstairs.....into my apartment."

Once we were inside, I limped over to my white Italian leather sofa and carefully sat down. Delores stood with her back against the front door staring at me.

"Astrid, I don't know what just happened, but.......

"But,nothing. It was nothing, Delores." I finished for her.

"But, I saw you.......

"No, you did not." I stood up from my sofa and noticed the blood stains. That's going to be a bitch to clean.

"What?"  Her voice was trembling with fear. I thought she would start crying, but she held herself together better than I could have imagined.

"Delores, you can't ever, I mean never speak of what happened today, to anyone."

"What?" Delores was slowly walking toward me now, but still remained at a distance she considered safe. She was in shock. I get that.

"You heard what I said."  I walked into the kitchen and retrieved a bag of AB+ blood. When Delores saw the bag of blood in my hand, she stopped dead in her tracks. Her body was rigid, her face, frozen in shock, her eyes as wide as the Grand Canyon.  I emptied the contents into a glass and began to drink.

"How'd you do that...back there...in the alley? Are you some kind of bionic woman the government created in a lab?.....six million dollar .... whatever? Wonder Woman....Freaking Alice from Resident Evil? Astrid, are you some kind of........

"Vampire." I relented. That could have gone on for hours, seeing that my refreshing beverage didn't give her the slightest notion that not one of those characters she just rambled off ever drank blood.

"What?"  She took a few steps backwards. I watched her reaction before I spoke again. The color had drained from her face. She stood in the foyer of my apartment staring at me, waiting for me to make the next move, hoping that I would tell her she wasn't crazy. But in her heart, she already knew she wasn't. Her heart rate was out of control, and I knew I had to do something to calm her or a heart attack was in her near future.

"Delores, I need you to calm down. I need you to take deep breaths to calm your breathing. And, I need you to know that you can never speak on any of this again. To anyone."  I stared directly into her eyes.

"Calm.....Take deep....What?"

"Do you understand what I am telling you? This...what happened today, can never go any farther than this room."

"What?"

"Delores, if you say 'what' one more time, I swear to god........

"OK, I'm sorry! This is a hell of a lot to take in at the moment.  I've been up for the past sixteen hours, I...I see you riding a motorcycle and get hit by a speeding car. An accident that should have killed you, I might add, but here you are.....

"Limped." I corrected.

"Wh.........

I gave her a sharp glance before she could finish.

"Technically I didn't walk away. I limped away" I went upstairs into my bedroom to shed what was left of my clothes. The blood I drank refreshed my body enough for me to function without any help from Delores. I don't think she is in any state of mind to play Clara Barton anyway. I undressed, threw my blood soaked clothes in the trash, made a mental note to burn them later. Delores slowly followed me, as I walked toward the bathroom to run the shower. She continued to stare at me, as if she was looking at a ghost. I guess, in a way, she was.

"Delores, listen to me. Are you listening?" I asked, as I tested the temperature of the water from the shower.

"Yes. Believe me. You have my undivided attention." She raised a finger to the middle portion of her glasses to adjust them on her face.

"Good to know. You are not dreaming. You are not crazy. What you saw was real. What I am telling you is real.  I am a vampire.  No one in this city or world for that matter, knows I exist as a vampire, with the exception of you. Oh, and Adam."

"So, you're telling me that vampires are real? You're telling me that every horror movie about vampires that I watched as a kid is actually real? That every nightmare I've ever had in my entire life about vampires is real"? And, who is Adam"? She was in full hyper mode. From the looks of her body language and the pounding of her heart, I thought she would faint.

"Delores, I have no idea what your nightmares were about, or how I compare to any horror movie you watched, when you were four."

"Fourteen, actually." She corrected.

"Come again".

 "I wasn't allowed to watch horror movies until I was old enough to start applying to college."   I shook my head as if to say, 'Poor thing'.   "Astrid, how can this be true? How can anyone be a vampire? They're not real."

"There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man........"

"Astrid, this is not funny!" her raised voice startled me. I'd never heard that tone come from her before. She paced back and forth until she got dizzy. She stopped and leaned against the mahogany bed post, trying to regain the support and comfort of a world she had left behind only moments ago.

I walked to the bathroom to shower away the double shift and blood still clinging to me. Before closing the door, I turned to her again.  "Delores, can I trust you to stay in that spot until I get out of the shower?" I asked, making a circling motion directed at her feet. She didn't respond, but I knew she wouldn't leave. Delores has an inquiring mind. I was a little shocked at how well she was  absorbing the information that had just closed the door on everything she ever believed in. But, I knew the reality of it was not quite at the surface.
                    After I showered, I returned to my bedroom to see Delores sitting on the bed, staring at the floor, still wearing her wool coat she apparently hadn't planned on discarding any time soon.
"You can take that off now." I said pointing to her coat. She looked at me, her eyes filled with questions. Questions I knew I would have to answer sooner than later.

"Astrid, how?"

"How what?" I asked, pretending not to understand the question.

"How are you a vampire? I thought vampires were just a myth. I mean, how?"

"First of all", I started as I walked over to the walk-in closet to retrieve a pair of leggings and t-shirt. She cautiously followed behind me, as I returned to the sitting room,  "Vampires are not myths. Case in point," I made a wave motion toward myself. She followed behind and sat when I sat, never taking her eyes off of me.

"What about sunlight?"

"What about  it?" I got into a comfortable position on my white Italian leather chase lounge chair.

"Don't vampires burn up in sunlight?"

"Mostly"

"Mostly?"

"Some do. Some don't."   I picked up an Ebony magazine from the coffee table and began flipping through it. "The sun is too hot for some of us, but it's not always a death warrant'.

"Too hot? Wh...How do you mean?"

"Have you ever heard of sunburn, Delores?" I asked without looking up from my magazine.

"Yeah, when a person stays in the sun too long."

"OK, same with some vampires, except we tend to burn faster than normal people do. Vampires do not have and cannot obtain Vitamin D as humans can. Our bodies do not produce it, and the sun is our natural enemy because we cannot naturally take in the substance. Simply put, we are actually dead. Most of us.  Because of this, when vampires do not get the proper Vitamin D from Vitamin D rich blood, we lack the iron we need to survive. Too much sun takes away the little life energy vampires do gain from drinking blood. If we lose that energy, we have to feed again to regain it. And, sometimes that feeding can cost a person his/her life."

"So, this is why you keep blood in your fridge?"

"I keep blood in my fridge for the same reason you keep eggs in yours. I have to eat to stay alive."

"But, I've seen you eat food. I mean, regular food. Vampires don't eat food.  But, you do. I don't understand. So, when you came home today and drank that blood......

"It wasn't because I was hungry. It was because I needed to heal."

"Oh." Was all she said.  "But how can you be alive? You just said vampires are technically dead."

"Some are, Delores. But, dead or not, I still have to eat to live, Sweetie."

"But, your body is warm. You're not cold to the touch. I felt you, when you were laying on the ground. If you are a vampire, shouldn't you be cold? And, you have a bed. Don't vampires sleep in coffins?"

"Too much television, Delores."  I continued to flip through the magazine.   "I keep a bed for the sake of maintaining my humanity. It's just for show. I sleep in a freezer upstairs."

"What's that like?"

"Cold, Delores." I stated, as I discarded the magazine and rubbed my temples. I could feel her relaxing a little more, but she was still tense. I could understand why. I knew she was in deep thought. Far be it for me to interrupt that process.

"Astrid, if you are in deed a real honest to god vampire, that means that technically you are dead. Right?"

"Delores, what did we agree on about stupid questions?" I asked, as if she were a child about to be placed in time out.

"I know right....I'm sorry....It's just that, when you were laying in the alley, I felt a pulse. Dead people don't have those."

"Correct."

"But, you had one."

"It wasn't my pulse you were feeling." I stated, closing my eyes, laying my head on the head rest of my chaise lounge chair.

"Wh........

"Dammit, Delores.....

"OK, I'm sorry, but you have to understand that I don't understand any of this shit you are talking about! OK!"

I knew I needed to explain for her sake and mine.  "I'm sorry Delores. You deserve a better explanation than what I am giving you. You didn't deserve to see what you saw today. You didn't deserve to have your innocence taken away from you like this. For that I am so, so sorry. But, I have to be honest. I never thought I would make the mistake again of ever showing another human who I really am. I thought I was being careful. Truth is, I guess I let my guard down too far. I should have seen that car. I should have heard it coming from miles away. But, I didn't. I don't know why, but I didn't."
I sat there for a moment trying to understand why my senses had failed me. Nothing came to mind. I couldn't dwell on it now. I had a responsibility to Delores. She needed answers and some form of reassurance. Right now we both needed the same thing.  "The pulse you were feeling was yours."  I began to explain the answer to her question.  "Technically vampires don't have a pulse because we do not have a life force. When we are alone, we don't  breathe."

"But, you're breathing now." She observed.

"Yes, because you're here. My energy comes from the living I am attached to.The energy from a human life force varies. Some are very weak; therefore, they do not have enough energy for us to obtain. They barely have enough for themselves. They essentially have nothing to offer. Your life force, on the other hand is very strong. Right now you are the source of my energy. . You are the reason I breathe. This is why you felt a pulse after the accident. Right now you and I are breathing in sync. My heartbeat matches yours because it belongs to you."

"So, you're saying that I could end up being a meal for a vampire?" Her face went pale.

"Calm down, Delores. Your life force is strong because you are healthy. Those who have a weak life force are either sick or near death. And no, you won't end up as a meal for a vampire. I'll make sure of that." I teased.

"Wow! That's comforting. Good to know I have a body guard." She laughed nervously at the concept.
I could feel her staring at me, watching, trying to understand the new reality that has just been placed in front of her. But, Rome wasn't built in a day, so........"Astrid, how do you plan on keeping this a secret?  People are bound to figure it out. Don't you think?"

"Delores, I've kept this secret for over 200 years. You are right, people are bound, but they won't figure it out."

"Wow! Last night, when you said you had years of practice, you weren't kidding." Delores, slumped backwards in the over sized chair she was sitting in and closed her eyes. After a few minutes, my breathing became slower, more relaxed but labored, and I knew she was asleep. I went into the bedroom and retrieved a blanket. After covering her, I turned off the lights, and I went upstairs to the loft to get some sleep as well. This was the day I had feared. A day, when a human saw me for who I really am. Number one on my list.

THE LIFE: CHAPTER TWO

                                                                  PRESENT DAY


                    I have to admit, moving back to my home town of Metarie, Louisiana was not the best idea I've ever had, but it wasn't the worst either. A lot had changed, since the last time I was here. It seems there are more people and a larger percentage of death. This just proves to me that people no longer value life. This analogy is what keeps me busy. It keeps me with a steady paycheck. Working the night shift as a Medical examiner, or Coroner, whichever works, has its perks. It's not a dream job for most people, but I'm not like most people. There are not many who enjoy the work they do. For me, it's more than a job. It's a calling.
                    The night had been slow. I guess everyone was still enjoying the Mardi Gras parade, which has never been my scene. I enjoy places that are quiet, not cramped and crowded. I guess my job is my sanctuary. A slow night is boring, and when I get bored I eat. It wasn't my lunch time, but no one was going to rat me out for misusing company time. My assistant, Delores, called in due to an illness, so I was alone. No one else down here but the dead, and they weren't talking. Just as I was about to indulged myself, the phone rang. I rolled my eyes in frustration, walked over to the wall mounted phone, picked it up.

"Dawson City Morgue. You bag 'em, we tag 'em."

"Astrid, I thought I told you not to answer the phone in such a manner."

My boss was as dry as the Sahara Desert. No sense of humor at all.
"Yes, ma'am, you did. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." I was lying and she knew it.

"Time out for games, Astrid. We are running a business not a comedy show."

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling, ignored her comment, waited for her to get to the point of this call.  I could hear her take in a deep breath and sigh. I held my laughter. She made it too east to get under her skin.  "Back to the matter at hand. I need you and Delores to work a double shift tonight."

"A dou......

" I know it's a lot to ask, " she interrupted, "but we have a crisis situation."

"What kind of crisis? Did Mr. Finch take his vodka and Viagra this morning with his heart medication?"
This was a joke no one seemed to think funny except for me. When I first moved back to Metarie, I worked the night shift in the ER. One night I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Graham Finch after one of his die hard engagement. He was in the ER at least twice a week. He would always brag about his grandchildren and great grand children and complain about their low life parents. No matter how many times it was explained to him, he did not seem to understand that ninety year old men taking heart medication should not mix Viagra and vodka. I informed him that if he continued to indulge in this life style , old age would not kill him. The woman on top would.

"Astrid! This is exactly the kind of horsing around I'm talking about. If you don't want this job, someone else will be glad to have it!" she shouted

See? Too easy.
"What is the crisis?" I relented. Might as well get this call over with. I'm beginning to get bored, and I'm still hungry.

"To answer your question, no, it is not Mr. Finch. Claytown Morgue is swamped with bodies coming in from the seven vehicle pile-up on the Westbank Expressway. They need our help; therefore, I need all hands on deck."

"Grace, I'm the only one working tonight. Delores called in sick."

"Yeah, right. If she's sick, I'm sick, and I never get sick."

She was right, and it sucked!
"What do you want  me to do?" I asked, knowing the answer to the question. I had my cell phone in my hand dialing Delores' number.

"Call her and tell her if she doesn't get her ass to work in the next hour, she's fired."

"Is there anything else I can do for you tonight, Miss Grace?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah", she retorted, "try not to screw anything up. If you do, you can look for another job too." And with that, she hung up the phone.

What Grace didn't understand is that I came here looking for a job, and I'll leave the same way. But, who was I kidding? I knew I was not going anywhere. This is a cushy job. I can do practically anything I want, so why leave?  Without further ado, I called Delores and repeated the message form the boss from hell. When I hung up the phone, I went to the fridge to retrieve my snack. This was going to be a long night.


*********************************************************************************


                    I was sitting patiently in my leather, black, winged-back chair with my feet resting on my desk, watching the time on my stop watch, as Delores made her way into the morgue.

"Just under an hour." I stated, as I stood to stretch my legs. "You must have ran." I chuckled.

"What is wrong with Grace?" Delores asked, ignoring my comment, taking off her coat, hanging it on the coat rack near the entrance door.  "She's so bitter and no fun at all."

"Well", I started, "she doesn't get payed to be sweet and full of laughter. She gets payed to make your life miserable." I walked over to the autopsy table to make sure everything was in its proper place. I do not know how many are coming, but preparation is always needed. It is Mardi Gras and the ages I normally get range from fifteen to forty-five. People do the most, and the most gets you a free pass to the next chapter in your life. I have been the guest speaker at most of the middle and high schools here, providing useful information to the 'young thug wanna- be's' and the 'This is my body' crowd pleasers . Life is far better than the alternative. Once you cross my path, it is over. There is no coming back from my table. You think the winter is cold? You do not know what cold is until you have the unfortunate opportunity to lay on my table. If you want to live the fast life, if you want to do whatever you want to do, if you think you have something to prove to people who are not who you think they are, my table is waiting for you.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" I asked with a confused look carefully painted across my face.

"You know what I mean. She makes both of us miserable."

"Speak for yourself, " I stated emphatically. "I have other things in my life to make me miserable, and Grace is nowhere on that list."

"Well, I wish I could be as casual about it as you are. Truth is, that woman scares me." Delores was standing next to me now with her hands on her hips, as she bit down on her lower lip. She does that, when she gets irritated. it's funny, and she looks adorable.

"Well, Delores, all I can say is chin up" I smiled at her, as I referenced a line from her favorite childhood book, Charlotte's Web.

"Oh, bite me, Astrid." She was pretending to be annoyed, as she walked to the mini fridge that sat in the corner next to my desk.  "I wish I had magical powers. My life would be much better and a lot more interesting." She grabbed a drink from the fridge.

"Magical powers? Where did that come from? You want to be like Superman or something"?

She shifted some things around in the little fridge as she spoke. "Not like Superman. Just....I don;t know. Just fulfilled. You know? I just want to be able to do what I want to do."

"Oh, so, you want to be here"? I asked, as I pointed to the cold table in front of me.

"God, no"! She exclaimed. I just want to matter. I want to be respected and taken seriously."

"And, you think having magical powers will do that for you"? I chuckled at this analogy. She is just so adorable.

"Well, maybe".  Delores threw her arms up in defeat.

"Well, maybe you need to come back to reality. If you want to matter and be respected by others, you first have to acknowledge your true existence. You have to matter to you. You have to respect you. No one is going to make you feel important, if you don't think you are. Besides, all magic comes with a price, Delores." I pointed out. "And  'bite me' are two words you should never use together in a sentence.  Someone may take you up on that offer one day." I stated a matter-of-factually.

"Astrid, no one will ever take me up on that offer. I can't get a date because men seem to frown upon women who work in a morgue for some reason. Oh, and have you seen me lately?" She used her hands to make an up and down motion in front of her body to emphasize her point.
                
                    Delores was 5'5,  light brown flawless skin. She never wore any make-up, but then again, she didn't need it. She had beautiful wavy hair she insisted wearing in a doughnut fashion on the top of her head with little tendrils hanging down the side of her face. I can see her for who she is. Her problem is that she could only see herself as others saw her...nerdy, dorky, no fashion sense whatsoever and no people skills. It's understandable. When you work around dead people all the time, you don't have to worry about what you wear or how you look. You don't get the chance to develop your people skills either. But, Delores is smart and funny. She graduated at the top of her class from Louisiana State University School of Medicine and completed an internship at Baylor College of Medicine. Delores' brain may actually be more unique than Einstein, yet she does not use it as collectively as she should.

"Delores, you have to stop putting yourself down. When you don't have any confidence in yourself, people can see that. And, when they see that, they take advantage of you."

"It's easy for you to say. You're gorgeous." Delores walked over to my desk chair and took a seat. I don't like it when other people sit in my chair or at my desk, but she knew  I wouldn't say anything to her about it. At least not today. "You have the whole package, Astrid," she continued. " You're smart, and pretty, and well rounded. You know what you want out of life. You have everything going for you, and all I got were these stupid rocks. You are nothing like me." She sulked.
I looked down at myself as if to say there is nothing special about me. Delores just waved me off and placed her head on my desk in exasperation.

"Delores, we are not that different?" I tried to appease her, but it wasn't working.

"As in what? The only two things we have in common are being black and females. And, by the extreme lack of attention I get from the male persuasion, I have to wonder if I'm fulfilling the traits of the latter."
She was in rare form.

"Delores, you don't see me with a man, do you?" I was trying to make a point.

"No, but you said that was your choice, which means you could have one, if you wanted one. I don't have a choice. I don't choose to be alone. I'm alone because no man will choose to be with me." She sulked even more and for dramatic effect, she pretended to cry.

"You're selling yourself short, Delores. This is the 21 st century. Haven't you heard? Sista's are doing it for themselves. I don't need a man, and you don't need a .......

"But, I'm not like you, Gloria." She interrupted by reciting a line from my favorite movie, Waiting To Exhale. This made me laugh.

"Delores,  you have to be faithful to your true self before you can be faithful to another person. Embrace who you are. Don't let anyone take that away from you."

"See! It's crap like that. When you say it, it makes so much sense. I just have a hard time incorporating it into my life because of these stupid rocks."

"Stop it with the rocks!" I sighed heavily. "We all have a purpose, Delores. Find out what your purpose is before you embark on a journey with someone you are not compatible with."

Delores took a sip of soda she had been nursing, since she retrieved it from the fridge. She took a deep breath and sat back in the chair.   "How did you become so serene?" She asked, just as the morgue doors swung open.

"Years of practice, Sweetie."

THE LIFE: CHAPTER ONE

                                                1754 - EMMA LUCILLE THORNE



                    I've never thought of myself as charismatic. You know, the kind of person with a compelling charm who desires everything good in life without any real responsibility. I grew up in a time where my race was not accepted in any social circle. A time of slaves and masters, house niggas and field niggas. A time when my people were bought and sold and treated as commodity. My name is Emma Lucille Thorne, and I was born March 19, 1754. Aahna Chipwan , my mother and an Indian of the Cheamacha tribe, planted her roots on the Southern Louisiana coast. My mother was only a baby, when her  family was sold into Louisiana slavery by the French in 1734. By then, most of the Cheamacha tribe had died out from the many diseases that struck plantation after plantation. By the time my mother reached womanhood, she was taken away from her family and everyone she knew, and she was sold to Master James Hagel Thorne, Esq., owner of Plantation Remplir la Vie, which is French for Life Fulfill.She did not speak of her family to me as much as I would have liked. She always told me I was too young to understand the ways of the world. I always knew mother missed her family. I could see the sadness in her eyes almost everyday. There were days, when she seemed almost childlike and full of life. Those were the days she was fetched by Master Thorne to work in the big house.
                    Master Thorne wasn't like the other slave masters. He did not allow slave beatings or senseless hangings. But, he was still a slave owner, and we were still his property, lest we forget it. Master was a man who enjoyed being around people, and regardless of what some may have thought, slaves were still people. Master did not allow his slaves to work in the rain because he said the rain was doing all of the work. When the sun was high, he would make sure the field workers had plenty of water and rest. Most slave owners did not care about the welfare of their slaves, but Master knew that a healthy slave meant better work and better increase. Slavery was never to be embraced, but if you were one, Master Thorne's plantation was definitely a cut above the rest.
                    This is the place where my mamma met my daddy, Benjamin. My daddy was from Africa. The only other thing I knew of his family was that they were sold into slavery to an Alabama plantation in 1719 and sold again in 1727 to this plantation. My daddy was born on this land, and he married my mamma when she was fifteen. I came along two years later, but I never knew my daddy. Mamma told me he was killed by Master Thorne, when I was still suckling. She didn't speak of Daddy much. I just assumed she was still grieving, but the truth of it all proved more unsettling.
                    When I was thirteen, I was fetched from the slave quarters to work as a cook and hand maid in the big house. My mother was ailing at the time and could no longer do the house and kitchen work. Master Thorne took pity on us and moved Mamma to into the attic of his mansion. It was there I was able to care for her until she died on January 2 1767. Momma's death seemed to please Master's wife, Kathleen Cobb- Thorne, very much. Kathleen was not the most pleasant person to be around. In fact, she was down right hateful and more vicious than could ever be imagined. She came from a well-to-do family, but not as wealthy as Master Thorne. She married up, and she took advantage of her new found wealth. She was a part of all the fancy social scenes, and she sat as high as she could on that self-made pedestal of hers. I would often catch her staring at me, as I went about my work cooking, cleaning, or tending to the vegetables and flowers in the gardens. Her skin was as pale as death itself. Her cold stares like ice daggers penetrating my soul, piercing the very core of me, causing me to become fearful of her every breath. She treated the other slaves more decent than she ever treated me and Mamma. She gave them clothes and allowed them to take as much food as they needed back to their families in the slave quarters. She treated me and Mamma with ridicule and disgust. Master Thorne was the one to make sure we were taken care of. His actions of kindness towards me and Mamma only made Miss Katherine more spiteful.
                    During the summer of 1769, Miss Katherine's attitude toward me began to change. I was confused by this until I over heard a conversation she was having with the elder house slave, Victoria. It was then I learned Miss Katherine was with child. Master Thorne was hardly ever home after he found out about his wife's condition. I thought his behavior was strange considering this was their first child, but Miss Katherine did not seem to mind. She carried about the mansion preparing for the new baby as if it was the second coming of Christ. Miss Katherine went into labor on March 19, 1769 with Master by her side. The elder house slave, Victoria, was to deliver the baby, and she made it her business to keep reminding me of my unexpected birthday gift. I tried to ignore her taunts towards me, but the sting of it was always there. After hours of hearing Miss Katherine scream, I finally heard the faint sound of a baby's cry. Master Thorne had a son, James Hagel Thorne II. For once, all seemed well in the big house.
                    Around the beginning of summer, I was a permanent fixture in the house. It was my responsibility to take care of the baby and to prepare the evening meal and to make sure the house was always in more than presentable fashion. On this day I had just put the baby down for his afternoon nap and was preparing to provide lunch for Master and Miss Katherine, when I heard voices rising from the parlor. Not wanting to eaves drop, but allowing my curiosity to get the better of me, I quietly eased to the outside wall of the parlor, out of sight, but close enough to hear the heated argument between them. Master Thorne was speaking through clenched teeth.
"Katherine, I will not have this conversation with you again!"
"This conversation is about our son, the heir to your fortune! You treat him as if he's second best! This is your first born, James! Why do you pretend as though you do not care about that!?"
"Probably because he is not my first born............
"Do not start with that again, James! THAT nigga in THAT kitchen is NOT  a part of our family!"
"Her name is Emma, and I will not have you speak of her that way! SHE is my daughter. SHE is my first born!"
"James, you cannot be serious about this! She is the daughter of a slave! She is not worthy of your name! She is a house NIGGA!"
At that moment, I heard a loud slap and realized Master had struck Miss Katherine across the face. I knew I should have ran, but I was stuck in one spot. Frozen like a statue. Getting caught eaves dropping was not an option, but I could not will my legs to move. It was as though the world was no longer spinning, and I was being held in place without any restraints at all. I had to move. I had to get back to the kitchen. I had to move. Now!

THE LIFE. A Novel by Leonette MarSha!

                    I had just finished an evening dinner alone at Galatorie's. On any other night, this place would be crowded with tourist eager to visit New Orleans, Louisiana's Historic French Quarters. But tonight was a slow night, and that was ideal for me. I needed a little relaxation after the day I had. The laid back atmosphere gave me a chance to clear my mind of the clutter and nonsense that had clouded my vision and better judgement.

                   I finished my meal, walked outside, and I looked at the black clock that stood on the corner of Bourbon St. and Bienville. It was 5:30, and I knew I needed to get to Adams' before 6:00.  I placed a call to him to let him know I was on my way to pick up the fifty he owed me.  With my motorcycle on the fritz after a minor mishap, my transportation method was limited, and I refused to use any form of public transportation. Walking would take the average person an hour, but I was far from the average person.
         
                      Tonight was like any other for this time of year. The rain had finally stopped after three days, but it left behind a cool December breeze that showered over me. I stood on the sidewalk for a brief moment to embrace the one thing that most people took for granted.....Life. Before today, I was one of those people. I was trying to hold on to a past that had for so long been trying to let go of me. I had been so focused on what I had left behind that it made me blind to the happiness standing before me. I was finally able to admit for me to have a normal life, I would have to bury the part of me that died years ago. I never allowed myself to be happy. I never allowed anyone to get too close for fear of non-acceptance, followed by grief and the harsh realization of living a life without any happiness to ever look forward to. Never the less, I had to make due with what I have left and not worry about the rest.
                    I started my journey toward Adam's and was at his door at 5:40. The door chimes startled him, and he gave a look of relief, as he looked up and saw it was me. "Hey man!" I shouted over the loud speakers blasting what I could only refer to as the heaviest of heavy metal.  He looked up at me and smiled.  "You got that fifty you owe me?"  I asked, as I walked towards him with purpose and so much opportunity.
                    He chuckled and gave me a thumbs up, as I motioned for him to lower the volume on that awful noise.  "I have to tell ya, you gave me the blues over this fifty. I'm glad I finally got it for ya."  He turned the music down and walked toward me. He had a  long lean body, jet black hair, caramel skin and a strong jawline. Indian blood, but not full blood. He wore a black AC/DC t-shirt underneath a black leather vest. His blue jeans were ripped at the knees, and I could see he was wearing a pair of black Gaerne boots.Nice!

                    "Well, just as long as you got it. I called you about it a month ago. I thought I would have had it by now."

                    "I'm sorry about that. Sometimes things just takes time."  He reached into his back pocket and extended his hand to me.  "It's all yours." He stated gladly.

                    I took what was mine, gave a crooked smile, and headed for the door. He knew he'd made me very happy.  "Thanks, man." Was all I said. I walked out of the door toward the garage with Adam following close behind me. He opened the garage door, we walked inside, and I watched him, as he uncovered the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. The 2014  Hayabusa was more than I ever thought it would be. It was my 50.

"Nice, huh?"  Adam followed me with his eyes, as I walked around the bike in awe.

"Nice isn't the word, man. This is out of sight!"

"Did you junk the 64?"

"Nah, man. I have it. I'll restore it back to it's original glory at some point. It's hard to get rid of something I've had for so long. You know?"  He knew. Adam has been holding on to an engagement ring he was going to give to Victorie as long as I can remember. But, it's more than too late now. Love takes time to heal. I guess Adam just hasn't found anyone who could ever replace her.

Without hesitation, I strapped on my helmet and mounted my scarlet and black beauty with ease. I revved the engine a few times to make sure she purred as expected. The power of the 4 cylinder was unreal. I looked at Adam and smiled. I turned the bike toward the garage exit, gave a final thumbs up, and I rode out into the night.

                    I was happy to be back in my home town. It took me a long time to have the courage to show my face around here again. As I rode over the Westbank Bridge, old memories flooded my mind. Memories that made me think about the choices I'd made. Memories that made me feel larger than life. Memories that made me the person I am today.  I'm sorry for being rude. Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Astrid Hightower. They say, if you are going to tell a story, start from the beginning. Give your audience a chance to know who you are. Well, this is a story of my life and the lives of those I have loved and lost. The life I have lived through more seasons than I care to remember. The life I have hated and cursed until now. The life.............